For the involuntary single soul in Durham, the thought of swiping through a meat market — otherwise known as dating apps — is agony. And after barely surviving Thanksgiving dinner with the annoyance of “Are you seeing anyone?”, to the holiday parties where, once again, you had no plus-one, suddenly Valentine’s Day rounds the corner to remind you of your dismal relationship status. (Crude, if you ask me, considering the only bridge between the two is January, which includes all the winter dreariness without a dash of festivities. Not to mention, it’s also “dry.”)
“The online thing just sucks,” said Joshua Otten, 41. “Just the combination of not hearing back from people, getting ghosted… it makes everything kind of feel like a job interview.”
Otten moved to Durham in 2015. He joined a soccer league hoping to meet people but found a sport that includes kicking your opponent in the shin wasn’t conducive for socializing after the game. Then, in 2018, after a New Year’s Resolution to find a new outlet to meet people, he joined the Bull City Run Club.
Fast forward to December 2021, when Otten and only two other people showed up in the parking lot at 501 Washington Str., the home of Bull City Running Co. One of them was Michelle Roth.
After jogging, the third attendee took off and Otten asked Roth out for a beer afterward. It turned into playing three hours of musical bingo at Fullsteam and plans to run together again the day after Christmas.
Roth and Otten had existed within overlapping social circles, but they were just acquaintances. In Jan. 2022, Magic City Hippies were playing at Cat’s Cradle; and when Roth chimed up in the group chat that she bought a ticket, Otten raced to buy one, too. A romance that began in the parking lot took off.
Could running clubs be the new singles bars? In an exploding city like Durham, alternatives to swiping are gaining traction. Run clubs and pickleball and similar activities are risk-free ways to meet people. “In a way, the stakes are low. It’s a very inviting place,” Otten said. “You’ll find your people, you’ll find your pace.”
Kim Chapman, who owns the store with her husband and launched the running club in 2010, says, “I also think it’s really hard to meet people as a young adult, in general… Durham has so many new arrivals and people who have moved here for work. … And I just think the more you can create a totally welcoming, not intimidating, come-as-you-are kind of place, (it’s) an opportunity for people to gather with no commitment.”
“Generation stay-at-home”
In theory, the Bull City has no shortage of eligible bachelors or bachelorettes. According to data from moveBuddha, North Carolina ranked second on a Top 10 list of the most popular states people moved to in 2025, behind South Carolina. MoveBuddha is a referral website that provides moving cost estimates and other information for people planning to relocate. The 2025 moving trends analysis looked at 160,000 searches from its moving cost calculator between 2020 and Oct. 1, 2025, comparing rates of arrivals versus exits from states and cities across the country.
Durham was the No. 6 most popular city people moved to in 2025, with a 1.78 move-in-to-out ratio — meaning, for every 100 people leaving the Bull City, 178 streamed in.
“It’s a trend that we’ve seen from recent years, a steady interest in mid-sized cities and smaller metropolitan areas that offer a balance of economic opportunities and quality of life,” the report said.
Plus, more than a third of Durham’s population is 20-39-years-old, and 56% of Durhamites are single — 7% higher than the North Carolina rate (49%), per 2023 U.S. Census Bureau data.
And yet…
“Oh yeah, Durham sucks for dating,” said 23-year-old Michael Zenzel. (Single.) The bartender at Boxcar Bar + Arcade has been on four dates since arriving in Durham July 2025.
Last month, Boxcar, the adult Chuck-E-Cheese, advertised a Singles’ Night every Thursday. The staff seemed clueless about such an event. Hardly anyone showed up in the past, said bartender Hannah Peters, 25. (Also single.) Boxcar’s events calendar has since been updated to reflect the only Friday-eve promotion: $6 margs.
Zenzel lamented dating apps. “It’s a numbers game, it’s kind of gross,” he said, “I feel like everyone kind of shoots above their actual standards because you almost get chosen in a way.” Many dating apps, including Tinder and Hinge, limit how many people users can match with.
“So you get really, really critical,” Zenzel continued.
Peters has had some luck meeting people at Rubies on Five Points, a live music and dancing venue. But then again, “I’m tryna figure out how to navigate this s— too,” she said. Tough luck for an age group labeled “generation stay-at-home.”
Penny-pinching over partying
The dating data doesn’t help, either. According to Bank of America’s 2025 Better Money Habits financial education report, more than half of Gen Z spend $0 a month on dating. Moreover, 28% say they spend less than $100 a month.
Wining and dining isn’t worth it for a generation increasingly stressed by a high cost of living. (Yet, more than 57% of Gen Z admitted to treating themselves on a weekly basis.)
One Durham 24-year-old confessed that the financial burden dissuades her from dating. As someone who goes out with both men and women, she noticed that women are less likely to pick up the check. This plays a role when she’s debating which gender to pursue romantically. (We met while she was on a date with a man at Boxcar Bar + Arcade.)
But at Bull City Run Club, there’s a $2 one-time membership fee. And it’s optional. Participants can purchase a barcode that keeps track of attendance throughout the season. These can be redeemed for promotions, including free beer, t-shirts and pint glasses.
“So all of that is in addition to basically what’s a free event and an opportunity to, you know, meet other people and build community,” Chapman said.
Happily-ever-after party
Running may have been the force that brought Roth and Otten together, but other common interests — such as an affinity for board games and a shared “Star Wars” obsession — were the
glue. After many, many runs, Roth had a dream that her then-boyfriend would propose to her with a lightsaber ring. And sure enough, on Dec. 22, 2023, Otten popped the question in the Bull City Running Co. parking lot, presenting a silicone ring engraved with the series’ signature weapon.
“Because we met in that parking lot, we’d always run from that parking lot. So much of our relationship has been started at that running store, that parking place,” Otten said.
Apparently, dreams do come true. They got married June 21, 2025. The venue was perhaps the second-most symbolic place of their relationship (after the parking lot, of course): Kotuku Surf Club, a five-minute walk away.
The clubbers often stop by Surf Club for a drink after weekly runs. Otten and Roth rented out the space for three hours, and they exchanged vows atop the firetruck behind Surf Club — lasting just seven minutes. It was open-bar and open-food truck, with La Taqueria Dominguez serving up Mexican street food.
“Neither one of us wanted a traditional wedding, we weren’t looking for, like, a church, so we just kind of referred to it as our happily ever after party,” Otten recounted, fiddling with his light saber-engraved wedding band.
Photo at topL Joshua Otten, 41, and Michelle Roth, 39, sport a hot dog and taco costume for a Bull City Run Club event. The couple met through the running club. (Courtesy of Joshua Otten)
Gabrielle Lazor
