{"id":5834,"date":"2021-10-29T14:14:39","date_gmt":"2021-10-29T14:14:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/9thstreetjournal.org\/?p=5834"},"modified":"2023-03-27T15:52:31","modified_gmt":"2023-03-27T15:52:31","slug":"5834","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/9thstreetjournal.org\/2021\/10\/29\/5834\/","title":{"rendered":"Support beyond the court: A local non-profit’s work with homicide victims’ families"},"content":{"rendered":"

The murder victim\u2019s mother rushes out of the bond hearing in tears. Marion Bailey hurries out after her.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Bailey, a 74-year-old retiree wearing a bright purple sweatshirt and matching pants, convinces the distraught mom to sit on a bench outside courtroom 7D one recent morning at the Durham County Courthouse. Bailey holds the crying mother in her arms.<\/span><\/p>\n

The mother has just heard Judge Orlando Hudson Jr. set bond for the man charged with murdering her son. The chief Superior Court judge ruled that the defendant had to pay\u00a0 $150,000 to gain his freedom \u2014 frighteningly low, in the mother\u2019s opinion.<\/span><\/p>\n

Waiting in the hallway with a family friend is the deceased victim\u2019s 8-year-old daughter. The girl watches her grandmother\u2019s weeping, confused.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGrandmama just heard something that made her sad,\u201d Bailey says to the little girl. \u201cShe\u2019ll be all right in a minute.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Bailey scoops up the child. Still sitting on the bench, she wraps one arm around the girl, the other around the murder victim\u2019s mother.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

A Cold, Complex Process<\/b><\/p>\n

Last year, <\/span>37 people<\/span><\/a> were killed in Durham. Each homicide leaves behind grieving families. While the court system pursues justice, the care and support of these families is often left behind.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Into that gap step people like Bailey, who works with the <\/span>Religious Coalition for a Nonviolent Durham. <\/span><\/a>\u00a0Its volunteers use grief groups, vigils, and the simple power of their presence to guide relatives of homicide victims through what can sometimes be a cold and complex court process.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

After the violent death of her sister Elizabeth Watson, the first thing Teresa McCall wanted was justice: \u201cYou want to know how justice is going to work. You want to know how quickly this guy\u2019s going to be arrested, how quickly the trial can occur, how things are going to happen so that at least you can get some closure to the process.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Three years after her sister\u2019s murder in July 2018, they finally have a trial date for November. McCall is \u201csitting on pins and needles,\u201d hoping it will proceed as planned.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

There are currently 65 pending homicide cases in Durham County and 94 total defendants, says Sarah Willets, spokesperson for the Durham District Attorney\u2019s Office.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Homicides can take years to resolve. The mountain of evidence must be processed by a state crime lab, and the severity of the crime means numerous pre-trial motions. Prosecutors are sometimes reassigned and defendants change attorneys, causing further delays. Some cases remain open from 2015.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Once the process begins, families realize the court system is not focused on their loss.\u00a0<\/span>At a quarterly administrative meeting designed to get all pending homicide cases before a judge, \u201cEach case might only be discussed for a couple of minutes,\u201d Willets says.\u00a0 \u201cThe defendant may or may not be there. The family\u2019s loved one\u2019s name might never be said.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

The lack of attention to victims devastates families. \u201cI just want someone to care and acknowledge who my sister was,\u201d says McCall, whose sister was 59 when she was killed.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Unlike defendants, who have an attorney to advocate for them, victims have no representation. Prosecutors represent the state, leaving victims\u2019 families without a role and often without a voice.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Victims\u2019 families are guaranteed only one chance to speak in court \u2014 at sentencing. The D.A.\u2019s office has tried to address this by holding quarterly sessions to meet with families and discuss the court process, but Willets recognizes it falls short.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s still not room to support people in the way that they need and deserve. Because at the end of the day, our staff also has a job to do in which they have to remain objective,\u201d Willets says. \u201cThere is still a need for something outside of the court process.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

That\u2019s why the Coalition assists, and advocates for, victims\u2019 families.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhen you cannot pick up the phone and call [your loved one], it is a deafening sound in your mind,\u201d McCall says. \u201cAnd then to further feel like it\u2019s just a process what happened to them. It\u2019s not okay. And the Coalition ensures that we know that it’s not just a process. They ensure that we know that this person that got taken through anger, through whatever reason, that they mattered.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Constant Contact\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

The Coalition was founded in 1992 by civil rights activist Leslie Dunbar and Reverend Mel Williams in the wake of rising gun violence in Durham. A non-profit, it supports the formerly incarcerated as they re-enter society and facilitates restorative justice, an alternative to the traditional court process.\u00a0 It also supports families of homicide victims through its vigil ministry.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The vigil ministry helps families navigate a confusing and emotionally taxing legal system. Coalition members give families rides to the courthouse, attend meetings with them, accompany them to hearings, and help them to fill out paperwork and prepare for trial.<\/span><\/p>\n

Bailey and three vigil team members also keep track of all the homicide cases traveling through the Durham County Courthouse. They take turns spending Monday, Tuesday, and sometimes Wednesday there, trying to keep up with the ever-mutating court calendar.\u00a0 They do this mostly to keep families informed.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s probably a total of maybe 30 people that you gotta stay in constant contact with,\u201d Bailey says. The team frequently informs families of developments in their case before the court does.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

But the vigil ministry\u2019s work goes beyond the courtroom.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

When a homicide is committed in Durham, the team immediately uses its community networks to offer support to the family. After several months, they may organize a vigil for the lost loved one. Vigils provide a space for family and friends to gather, mourn, and celebrate the victim\u2019s life.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Coalition also hosts grief support circles on the third Thursday of every month. Homicide victims\u2019 families come and share how they are doing, discuss their challenges with the court system, and find comfort in a community of people who understand their unique loss.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Not all families accept support right away.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Michelle Hall, whose 34-year-old son, Tavares Hall, was murdered by a stray bullet in October 2018, was not ready when the Coalition first reached out. \u201cBut they are patient, and they\u2019re very kind,\u201d Hall says. \u201c[Bailey] stayed in contact with me. And finally, I was able to join one of the [grief support] meetings, and it made such a difference.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The group\u2019s power lies in the shared experience. \u201cIt\u2019s a very lonely place to be when you don\u2019t have people who can share in your pain,\u201d McCall says. \u201cIt\u2019s very, very lonely until you talk to someone who truly understands.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

For Hall, a Durham County Library employee of 22 years, the grief circles are bittersweet because, despite the pain that brought them together, the group has formed a strong community of love and mutual support.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI never wanted to be a member of it,\u201d says Hall, 56, now a Coalition board member. \u201cBut I\u2019m a member for life.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Marion\u2019s ministry<\/b><\/p>\n

Bailey\u2019s 20-year-old grandson Javaun Graves was shot and killed in 2015. Graves was one of her nine grandchildren and six great-grandchildren. Bailey was a volunteer with the Coalition prior, but after what she calls Graves\u2019s \u201csenseless murder,\u201d she felt compelled to work with victims\u2019 families.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI chose to dedicate myself to do anything I can to correct the system so my grandchildren have a chance at life,\u201d Bailey says. \u201cThe ones that are still here.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Bailey, who wears short gray curls and glasses, has a warm, comforting voice. But her dedication is fierce. Formerly an office assistant at North Carolina Central University, she has spent her retirement working tirelessly in the Durham community. The Coalition is just one of her many ministries.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhen [people] say \u2018I don\u2019t know where I would be without the Coalition\u2019…I think they are really talking about Marion,\u201d says board member Susan Dunlap, who helps Bailey facilitate the grief groups.<\/span><\/p>\n

Bailey is known for going the extra mile (literally) for homicide victims\u2019 families. Once, \u201cone of my guys was really upset,\u201d and she drove all the way to Cary to comfort him. She takes phone calls in the middle of the night. She meets with school counselors to explain why a victim\u2019s child may be struggling. She and the team deliver food to families in need.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Bailey, who says she has no time for a significant other, remains in contact with all the families, even after their court case is resolved. McCall says, \u201cMarion texts me all the time.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

But she is most loyal to the mailman. She has already sent out 15 encouragement cards in October and is preparing her November batch. She sends cards to families around the anniversary of their loved one\u2019s death, to honor missed birthdays, or to uplift anyone who needs extra care.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The support goes both ways. After her three surgeries this year, \u201cMy families rallied around me. I got calls, I got cards, I got food, I got flowers.\u201d Bailey says. \u201cThey stepped out of their own grief and their own worrying to sacrifice, to be sure I was OK.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMarion gives us opportunites to take a breath,\u201d McCall says. \u201cShe makes us feel like we belong to life.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

PHOTO ABOVE:<\/strong>\u00a0Teresa McCall, left, and Marion Bailey stand together at the 29th annual Vigil Against Violence, organized by the Religious Coalition for a Nonviolent Durham. The Coalition supports families of homicide victims, and Bailey is one of its staffers. McCall’s sister was killed in July 2018.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The murder victim\u2019s mother rushes out of the bond hearing in tears. 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