{"id":10550,"date":"2023-07-28T14:35:07","date_gmt":"2023-07-28T14:35:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/9thstreetjournal.org\/?p=10550"},"modified":"2023-07-28T14:35:07","modified_gmt":"2023-07-28T14:35:07","slug":"sharing-comfort-and-joy-by-the-boxful","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/9thstreetjournal.org\/2023\/07\/28\/sharing-comfort-and-joy-by-the-boxful\/","title":{"rendered":"Sharing comfort and joy, by the boxful"},"content":{"rendered":"
In every corner of the room\u2014on the bookshelf, on the piano, under the bench\u2014are boxes stuffed with hundreds of cards of every size and color. Amy Steeves, a short, smiling 36-year-old woman, looks right at home. \u201cWelcome to Amy\u2019s Rays of Sunshine headquarters, also known as my living room,\u201d she laughs.<\/span><\/p>\n She has a quote tattooed on her arm: \u201cKeep your face towards the sunshine and the shadows will fall behind you.\u201d It\u2019s what got her through cancer treatment and the motto of her nonprofit organization, Amy\u2019s Rays of Sunshine.<\/span><\/p>\n Founded in 2020, Amy\u2019s Rays of Sunshine grew out of Steeves\u2019 own cancer experience, which landed her at the Duke Blood Cancer Center in 2019. The project began as Steeves\u2019 effort to support patients in that ward undergoing an isolating experience like the one she went through.<\/span><\/p>\n The organization, based at Steeves\u2019 home in Apex, sends boxes of cards, handwritten by volunteers, to patients undergoing bone marrow transplants at local hospitals and to hospitals across the country, giving patients hope and encouragement through the kindness of strangers.<\/span><\/p>\n When Steeves was pregnant with her first child 10 years ago, she had a full-body rash. She hoped it would go away after the birth of her son, but instead, it got worse, and soon she was diagnosed with a rare type of lymphoma called AITL that mainly occurs in men over 75. \u201cOur lives just got upended from there,\u201d she says.<\/span><\/p>\n Steeves was 27; she was in a different phase of life from other patients in the ward and the only one with young children at home. \u201cIt was very much, don’t look at these statistics, none of them apply to you. Like, we’re kind of in uncharted territory,\u201d she says. \u201cMost days in the unit, I was the only one under 60.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n At first, the lymphoma responded to chemotherapy. But after three years in remission and the birth of her second son, Steeves\u2019 lymphoma returned, and she needed a bone marrow transplant. There was no match for her on the match registry, so she did a transplant with her own stem cells and was isolated for 30 days.<\/span><\/p>\n Six months later, the lymphoma returned. This time, doctors found a perfect match, and in March 2019, Steeves had her second transplant. Once again, she was isolated\u2014away from her husband and two young kids, ages 5 and 18 months\u2014this time for 90 days.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n That\u2019s when the directors at her older son\u2019s preschool stepped in, setting up a card drive in the lobby of Apex United Methodist Preschool. At the beginning of her 90 days of isolation, they sent her a box of 90 cards: one to open each day.<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cIt meant so much to get letters from other moms of preschoolers who really understood how hard it was going to be to be away from my kids for so long,\u201d she says. \u201cSeeing my box of cards get lower and lower the more days I was away from home \u2026 it really gave me something to look forward to every morning. It became a whole thing once the nurses and doctors heard about it\u2014everybody would ask to see my card for the day.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n The transplant was successful, and Steeves has now been cancer-free for four years. When she got home, she put the box of cards in her dresser as a reminder of what she\u2019d been through. \u201cI would just look at it all the time and think, \u2018I have the most incredible support system \u2026 I wish everybody could have a box of sunshine like that.\u2019\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n Starting a nonprofit was overwhelming. She posted on Facebook asking for advice and Googled how to make a website. A former colleague\u2019s husband, a law professor, helped her file all the paperwork to get started. She found people to help her with social media (\u201cI didn\u2019t know what a reel was!\u201d) and soon her team grew to nine people.<\/span><\/p>\n One of those team members was Lauren Cessna, a friend of Steeves\u2019 from pharmacy school, who helped with social media and general consulting. Cessna has also benefited from the cards herself. Cessna, who had a one-year-old at home, was diagnosed with lymphoma shortly after Steeves. About a year ago, when Cessna relapsed and needed a second bone marrow transplant, she found herself on the receiving end of a box of cards.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cAmy was like, \u2018We\u2019re gonna send you the best box ever!\u2019\u201d she laughs. \u201c<\/span>It was amazing to see how supportive complete strangers could be.<\/span>\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n Amy\u2019s Rays of Sunshine was launched in March 2020. Within a few months, hundreds of cards were coming in from people excited about the organization. \u201cI was so naive that I really thought cards would just trickle in, so I put my home address when I started it,\u201d Steeves says. \u201cAnd then I would come home and there\u2019d be like 300 cards on my front porch.\u201d (She now has a post office box.)<\/span><\/p>\n In its first year, Amy\u2019s Rays of Sunshine sent out 35 30-day packages and nearly 50 90-day packages. What started as a local endeavor spread quickly as more hospitals contacted Steeves. \u201cI didn\u2019t know if we would ever get past Duke, really,\u201d she says. \u201cAnd now we\u2019re sending them all over the country \u2026 we\u2019ve been able to touch so many more people than I ever imagined.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n The organization targets young adults ages 18-50. \u201cThere are so many resources for the kids\u2019 units,\u201d she says. \u201cWhen you’re a young adult, you’re just kind of trapped in the middle.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n Hayley Olsavsky, a recreational therapist who distributes boxes at the University of North Carolina Hospitals in Chapel Hill, likes that the boxes take attention away from diagnoses and put it back on patients. \u201cThey\u2019re so much more than just what they\u2019re going through at the time, and have so much more to look forward to,\u201d she says. \u201cThe package is almost like being connected to someone who\u2019s gone through it.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Having someone local also means a lot to patients, says Olsavsky: not only has Steeves gone through what they\u2019re going through, but she did it just 20 minutes away.<\/span><\/p>\n Nowhere is Steeves\u2019 impact more personal than at Duke. Bethany Henshall, a clinical social worker who distributes boxes at the Duke Blood Cancer Center, originally knew Steeves as a patient undergoing treatment. \u201cI\u2019ve seen her through her journey and stayed in touch with her, so when she shared that she wanted to give back to other patients who were going through what she had gone through, I was excited to help her.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cAmy is an inspiration because she\u2019s been through so much \u2026 I just don\u2019t have the words,\u201d she says. \u201cI\u2019m so happy that things are going well for her and that this program is available to our patients.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n On their first day of treatment, patients get a birthday card with a letter from Steeves. \u201cThat makes it way more special,\u201d says Henshall. \u201cThe patients feel like, \u2018Ok, this person gets it.\u2019\u201d In addition to the cards, the boxes are filled with donated coloring books, chapsticks, lotions, and pens with explicit phrases, selected from the organization\u2019s Amazon wish list.<\/span><\/p>\n The organization\u2019s website includes guidelines for writing cards: nothing religion- or gender-specific, stay encouraging rather than focusing on the disease. Steeves takes 10 minutes every night to go through cards and reads every one. \u201cI don\u2019t hesitate to throw cards away,\u201d she says. \u201cI\u2019ve thrown away cards that are like, \u2018God gives His toughest battles to his strongest soldiers.\u2019 \u2026 Some of the more meaningful cards are when people are just acknowledging, like, what you’re going through totally sucks right now. And I’m thinking about you and I hope tomorrow is better than today or today’s better than the day before.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n Many of the cards are written by kids as part of school card drives, and many of the boxes are decorated by preschoolers, with a few noticeably better drawings courtesy of their teachers.<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cA lot of the kids\u2019 cards are written backward, like they don\u2019t know how cards work,\u201d she laughs. Sometimes kids forget to include the answers to their jokes\u2014so Steeves and her son Google the answer and write it in the card.<\/span><\/p>\n Steeves\u2019 kids like to dictate their jokes for Steeves to write on cards\u2014jokes like, \u201c\u2018Why did the chicken cross the road? Because this friend was over there,\u2019\u201d Steeves says. \u201cSo I write it, and then I’ll write, \u2018May you have the confidence of a five-year-old telling this joke.\u2019\u201d Her kids also decorate boxes and help sort cards.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cI don’t think my kids are old enough to truly understand the impact. And I kind of want to shield them from how hard it really is,\u201d she says. \u201cBut they understand that these cards are going to people that are in the hospital and don\u2019t feel good, so let\u2019s write them a joke, and they\u2019ll laugh.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n For Steeves, life post-cancer looks very different from life pre-cancer. \u201cCancer shows you what’s important, and what to spend your time and energy on,\u201d she says. After she got sick, she quit her job as a pharmacist and decided to \u201cjust do things that make me happy.\u201d She recently started working part-time at the same preschool that organized her card box four years ago, where her younger son is now enrolled.<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cWe had a card drive at our staff meeting the other month for Amy’s Rays of Sunshine,\u201d she says. \u201cPeople who wrote cards for me when I was sick are now helping me spread sunshine and our mission to others. So it’s come full circle.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n Steeves sits on her living room floor, going through carefully sorted cards. She holds up one that reads, \u201cYou are a miracul, an awesome miracul.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cSee?\u201d she says. \u201cLike, how would this not brighten your day?\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Some people include letters to Steeves with their donated cards, telling her of their own cancer experiences or how inspiring her mission is. She keeps them all.<\/span><\/p>\n Even though Steeves loves her work, she has still needed to create emotional boundaries.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cIf I really start thinking about it\u2014if Duke wants 10 boxes, that means there\u2019s 10 people going through this crap. And they\u2019re young, and they probably have kids, and it\u2019s so unfair \u2026\u201d But with time, she\u2019s shifted her mindset. \u201cI can’t change what’s happened to these people. And I don’t have any power over what happens to them in the future. But I can bring them a little bit of sunshine, and hopefully, for these next 90 days, make them smile at least once a day. And that’s more than I was doing before.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cI wish I had a normal life. I say that all the time\u2014I would trade anything for just a boring normal life,\u201d she says. \u201cBut I\u2019ve been given this messy, crazy one. And so at least I get to do something with it now, you know?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n Above: Amy Steeves with her boxes of cards for cancer patients. Photos by Elise Hammond \u2014 The 9th Street Journal\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" In every corner of the room\u2014on the bookshelf, on the piano, under the bench\u2014are boxes stuffed with hundreds of cards of every size and color.…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":76,"featured_media":10552,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[11,13],"tags":[223],"class_list":["post-10550","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-life-in-durham","category-public-health","tag-public-health","entry"],"yoast_head":"\n